Chapter 65 – Just Follow Your Heart
In the past 300 years…..
I have seen beggars that have frozen to death in caves…..
I have seen unlucky people killed by bandits and their bodies thrown into the river…..
I have seen thin and bony children starved to the point of eating tree roots…..
All of this, in the past, I wouldn’t feel anything wrong with it, and even stand next to them and smile while watching them suffer and die.
But today, I felt that there was something terribly wrong.
In my heart, there was discomfort…..
I did not continue to pursue the matter with Diu Diu. We all silently turned around and left Fish Gut Alley, and finally arrived at the edge of the forest. I did not want to return to the cave where Jian Nan lived, so I sat down next to a creek and watched as the water flowed into the distance. It was very quiet, only the sound of the water and the sound of the wind could be heard, and as I watched a petal of an apricot flower fall on me, everything seemed very beautiful.
In this beautiful forest, it was full of slaughter and hunting. The weak and elderly getting eliminated first is all a part of nature and animal instincts. In many cases, these animals would be driven out from the group and banished, just like how Yin Zi was kicked out by the crows.
Forgetting how much time has passed, I leisurely reminisce about the past and about Yin Zi. I once asked if he had always been at Luoying Mountain, and why was it that no crows came to play with him? Also, I had asked why he was a different colour than the other crows. White feathers were really pretty.
“Beautiful?” I did not know what it was that he had remembered, but he suddenly let out a very cheerful smile, and with a sarcastic tone, he said, “Of course! White feathers show that I am one of a kind, and that I’m different from the other crows.”
“What is one of a kind?” I did not know what he meant.
Yin Zi instead asked me, “If a male calico cat* appeared in your species, how would you deal with him?”
*[TN]: From Wikipedia: Because genetic determination of some coat colors in cats is linked to the X chromosome, calicoes are nearly always female. Because of the genetics involved, calico males are rare, and generally have impaired vitality and are almost always sterile.
I replied to him without even thinking, “Of course we would ignore him! Male calico cats are useless, their bodies are weak, and we don’t like them!”
“Exactly~” Yin Zi shrugged, “It’s exactly like that.”
“Are you also neither male nor female?” I was surprised.
“Nonsense!” Yin Zi was furious, “I am male! Not a male calico! I’m just using it as a metaphorical comparison! A metaphor!”
At that time, I didn’t quite understand his meaning, and wanted to continue asking, but he had already ran back to his treasure house to rub his gem stones and paid no further attention to me.
Now that I think about it…..Yin Zi should be like a male calico cat, banished and driven out by his family and clan…..
Animals weeding out the weak and humans eliminating the weak, isn’t it all the same? Why I am I troubling myself thinking about this…..is it because I thought of Yin Zi?
If it was Yin Zi…..although he was pretty useless and weak, I wouldn’t ever ignore or abandon him…..but the strange thing was that I also did not want to leave Diu Diu alone…..
What is this kind of feeling? I really did not understand…..
Right now, Jian Nan and Luo Luo were happily lighting a fire for cooking. While they lit the fire, they had also continued to comfort Shao Zhong and I, saying that if one was to see this kind of thing often, you would become use to it. If one was to get involved with each and every one, in the mortal realm, there was simply too much tragic events, and you would never be able to accomplish anything. And that it was best to just live your life to the fullest.
I thought that their words made a lot of sense, but my heart did not feel at ease, so I called out Bi Qingshen Jun’s name in my mind to speak with him.
“Shifu…..you aren’t fighting, right?” After the experience last time, I carefully asked first.
Bi Qingshen Jun’s voice suddenly tensed, “What is it? Are you chased by some strong monster?”
“No, no.” I immediately dismissed his guess, and then hesitantly told him what happened today.
Bi Qingshen Jun replied to me with four words, “Just follow your heart.”
“How?” I asked.
He asked me after thinking for a moment, “I want to first know what you want to do?”
“I want to give him money, lots and lots of money…..under Luoying Mountain, lots of money is buried there. Taking some out won’t really matter and they would have money to buy food that way.” I honestly replied.
“There are so many poor people in the world, can you help them all?” Bi Qingshen Jun asked again.
“But…..I only want to help Diu Diu…..” I bit my lips, and reluctantly replied, “Other people, I don’t know.”
Bi Qingshen Jun suddenly laughed, and then gently said, “Miao Miao, you’ve finally grown up a little, just do what you think is right.”
With praise given, I finally relaxed, and then suddenly thought about the problem about having children, and then casually asked, “Shifu, are you also incapable?”
“What?” Bi Qingshen Jun did not appear to understand.
I then asked in more detail and clarity, “Human beings that are very old or very young have no way of giving birth to children, they say they are incapable, Shifu doesn’t have any children, are you also incapable?”()
All of a sudden, there was only silence, on the other side of the bell, there was the sound of teeth gritting, and after a long time, Bi Qingshen Jun slowly answered, “I have heart, and also have strength.” (BQJ is playing around with the words.)
Before I even had a chance to ask what having heart and having strength meant, he promptly cut off the conversation, and no matter how much I called out to him, he did not answer me.
He’s really too much…..we were just fine, what was he even mad about…..
Whatever, I tossed this questions to the back of my mind, and called over the two people cooking at the fire and the Shao Zhong that was currently in a daze on the tree for a little meeting.
Jian Nan hearing my suggestion about going to Luoying Mountain and getting money for Diu Diu, thought for a moment, and then offered another solution, “That’s too bothersome, how about Miao Miao Shifu use our gold to give to them, this is unethical money anyways.”
Luo Luo beside us said in a small voice, “This money should first be broken into silver and copper coins. If other people were to notice how we suddenly became so rich, then they might think this money was taken from murdering and stealing.”
“This…..is this ok?” Shao Zhong was a bit embarrassed, and spoke, “Aren’t these your savings, in the future, you guys will need this money to live among the humans.”
Jian Nan’s pair of eyes suddenly glowed as he stared at me, he pleaded, “The Deer Devil is now dead and we don’t have a backing anymore. If we continue to live in this place, we would be easily bullied by other monsters. We originally thought that Miao Miao Shifu was able to stay for a long period of time in the mortal realm, but we didn’t expect that you guys would have to return to the heavenly realm in three days. We want to ask Shifu to introduce us to a reliable and powerful monster…..let us follow them and be protected.”
Luo Luo also lowered her head, rubbed her fingers and said, “Jian Nan is an expert illusionist, and I…..I only know some eavesdropping skill…..and no real way to really protect myself…..”
This was not too difficult to arrange, and since I already shoved two foxes to Luo Sha sis-in-law, another rabbit and frog shouldn’t really matter. Therefore, I picked up the brush again, wrote a letter of introduction, placed my insignia on it, and then handed it to them so that the two them could settle at Huoyan Mountain.
The two of them took the letter and offered their many thanks. They happily took the gold out and that they would help deliver this money to Diu Diu, and so they said that they needed to leave immediately for Diu Diu and Huoyan Mountain to prepare for the worst.
Not long after, Shao Zhong suddenly mumbled about how he had already completed the mortal realm task trial, and that he wanted to take this opportunity to wander around the human realm. And so, this cat had to wait around this forest alone for three more days.
I promised to meet him back in the heavenly realm in three days, and that in these three days, I was probably going to sleep, or wander around in the city. I was forced to catch mice and fish to eat. I could only wait until I return to the heavenly realm and tell Bi Qingshen Jun all about the fun things down in the mortal realm.
Unexpectedly, on the second day, the warm and pleasant sun illuminated the ground…..in the peach blossom gardens, the whole world appeared pink, I have met my predestined…..Spring.