Chapter 94 – Shifu Is A Liar
The color of night was closely approaching. Silence surrounded the air, and the stars illuminated the night sky like a painting.
In this moment, I seriously nodded to indicate that I wanted to learn these special bed techniques.
Bi Qingshen Jun led me indoors, telling me to soak in the hot spring bath first. He left to find Xiaolin and ordered him that under no circumstances should anyone be allowed to disturb us. Xiaolin smiled and nodded as he resigned.
I didn’t understand why he was so secretive, aren’t we just soaking in the hot springs. I put on a bathrobe and sat by the pool’s edge kicking the water, waiting for his return.
After waiting for a while, Bi Qingshen Jun finally returned, he firmly shut the doors and blew out the candles. He also brought with him a few night shining pearls to illuminate the darkness. His hands then went to unravel his own outer garments. With his emerald-green eyes, he stared at me for a long time before asking, “Have finished your preparations?”
“Preparations for what?” I tried to quickly stand up, but he held me down.
Bi Qingshen Jun knelt next to me, he reached into the water, picked me up, and stroked my bare legs. I quickly reached forward to stop him from tickling me, but he grabbed my wrist, and sucked on my index and middle finger. He then moved up my arm as he spread kisses on it.
“Itchy…..” This mysterious feeling made my body shiver a little, I quickly stepped back and wanted to retrieve my arm so he would stop kissing it.
“Don’t run.” Bi Qingshen Jun didn’t allow me to withdraw and pulled me back towards him. He placed me within his embrace, stood up, and carried me towards the room.
He gently placed me down on top of the soft blanket. Seeing the hazy glow of the pearls, I comfortably lie down and stretched. The hazy glow lit up Bi Qingshen Jun’s face, his expression very serious and determined.
He parted my wet hair to one side and then bent down, and put his body onto mine. It was really heavy, so I opened my mouth to ask, “Shifu…..you’re crushing me, it’s not comfortable.”
“Don’t speak.” Bi Qingshen Jun fiercely kissed me on the lips, prying my mouth apart in the process. He didn’t reply to my question. Our bodies were entangled, his body growing increasingly warm.
Under these circumstances, even if I had ten thousand questions, I could only keep still. I followed his rhythm and was at his mercy.
His tongue relaxed and receded. I could finally get a breath of air back into my suffocated lungs. I discovered that my bathrobe had also been unraveled, it seems like this is the continuation the activities from this afternoon.
“Shifu…..do you want to have babies with me?” I cautiously asked.
“Mmm.” Bi Qingshen Jun’s expression didn’t change much, he just quickly took off his clothes and revealed his perfectly toned body.
I still felt that there was something wrong, so I swallowed, and continued to ask, “What are we going to do next…..”
“There may be a bit of pain, so don’t thrash around too much.” Bi Qingshen Jun continued to undress.
I obediently lied on the bed, not daring to move, just stared at him whole heartedly.
Bi Qingshen Jun was finally stripped of all his clothing. I smiled and giggled at this sight. I was ready to let out a few moans and whimpers like how Jin Wen taught me as I waited for his next movements.
But! At this critical moment! I suddenly widened my eyes, and discovered what was wrong! Something very wrong!
Ehhh? Why does Shifu have a turtle?! Didn’t he say he didn’t have one?!
I was shocked into jumping up, almost hitting Bi Qingshen Jun in the face. He despondently grabbed my shoulders and asked, “What’s the matter?”
“Ah…..” My speech began to stutter, my fingers pointed to the turtle and asked, “Why…..why do you have that? What is that thing?”
“Is…..is there anything wrong?” Bi Qingshen Jun was terribly confused.
“Of course there is!” I complained bitterly, “You clearly said you didn’t have a turtle! How can you lie to me, Shifu!”
“When did I lie to you?” Bi Qingshen Jun voice became anxious, “Speak a little more clearly!”
“You definitely lied to this cat!” Once again, I pointed to the turtle, and said with a long face, “This…..you said you didn’t have that last time.”
There was a long silence. The sound of Bi Qingshen Jun’s teeth grinding could be heard, he seemed a bit angry, he grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to turn around and asked, “You call this thing a turtle? You’ve seen it before?”
I desperately nodded.
Bi Qingshen Jun’s expression darkened, “Where have you seen this before?”
“It doesn’t matter!” I instantly rolled away and stood up, “Anyway, I don’t want the turtle!”
“Why?” Bi Qingshen Jun’s words sounded as if they were choked.
After thinking about it, I gave a very unreasonable answer, “Because…..Miao Miao doesn’t like hateful turtles! Turtles are ugly!”
“Every single man has one!” Bi Qingshen Jun cried.
I was a little timid, so I whined, “But even so, you lied to me…..you said you didn’t have one.”
“How would I know this is called a turtle!” Bi Qingshen Jun has already fallen into a manic state, “Hurry up and tell me! Where’ve you seen this before!”
“It was that time at Qi Feng Lou…..wasn’t there a naked man?” He gave me a scare, therefore, I could only reply honestly.
Because of my answer, Bi Qingshen Jun’s anger subsided a little, he then grabbed me over to him and scolded, “This isn’t a turtle!”
“Then what is it?” There was an ominous feeling creeping into my heart, and so, I took a few steps back, “Don’t spank my butt!”
“I’m not going to spank you.”
“Then are you going to put me into solitary confinement?” After a moment of thought, I continued to call out, “Miao Miao will be angry!”
“I won’t lock you up.”
Before he even finished speaking, I was forcefully wrestled onto the bed and angrily took a bite out of my shoulders. Seeing the situation becoming more dangerous, I hurriedly prayed, “Don’t bite! If it’s not a turtle, then it isn’t a turtle, so don’t be angry, I just don’t need to think about Shifu’s turtle, okay?”
“Be Quiet!” Bi Qingshen Jun roared.
I was really scared, therefore……I transformed back into a cat, and then took the opportunity to hide under the bed.
The sound of Bi Qingshen Jun’s teeth grinding together grew clearer and louder, facing the bed, he ordered, “Come out.”
“I don’t want to…..right now, you look very scary.” I refused to come out, “Like you’re about to eat someone!”
“If you really aren’t going to come out, then I will swallow you whole!” Bi Qingshen Jun lifted up the entire bed, causing me to have nowhere to hide or go.
I was crouching by the corner of a table trembling in fear, there really isn’t any way for me out. Bi Qingshen Jun threw me back onto the bed, took a few deep breaths, and calmly spoke to me, “Change back into a human.”
“You really won’t hit me?”
“I just want to do things married couples do, I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Really? Is everyone like that too?”
“Yeah, this is the process one must go through in order to have children.”
So this is how you are actually able to give birth to cute and adorable children. I was a bit hesitant, but Bi Qingshen Jun very gently kissed me on the forehead, and softly asked, “Miao Miao, do you like me?”
“I like you.” I replied without any hesitation.
“The day after tomorrow is the wedding. I will forever cherish you.”
Okay, since I like Shifu and I want cute and adorable children, I’ll compromise with him. I transformed back into a person, lied down again, and began the child-bearing process.
Bi Qingshen Jun let out relieved sigh, continued to work hard, and then…..
“Meow woo! Meow woo!” My screaming echoed throughout the entire Xuan Qing Palace, and did not disperse for a long time, “It really hurts! Shifu is a liar! So painful! Let’s not do this anymore, okay?”
Author’s Note – A Little Lesson On Feline Sex Ed
In the animal kingdom, male cats do not have the right to select their mates, only the female cat can. During the selection process, the male cat will bite the female’s neck. The male’s ‘turtle’ contains barbs that prevent the female cat from running away during insertion therefore completing the process.
Back in the heavenly realm, Bi Qingshen Jun doesn’t have any barbs, but…..but because of Miao Miao nature (especially for the first time), therefore…..uh, I think everyone can imagine it.
Gahmoon: Well its kinda steamy, right? I tried, but this was much more comedic than steamy lol~ After a long awaited 94 chapters they finally did it, sure took them long enough~ hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter~